”I am ready to go back to Bali” Pia reflecting on summer vacation coming to an end. By Marta Kaltreider
It has been many months since our last post… So much has happened since making the decision we were staying in Bali for another year that I do not even know where to start: mini adventures full of discovery, family and friends coming to visit from overseas, exciting job opportunities for Marta, entrepreneurial prospects for Jeff to dig deep into, heartfelt tears to a few friends parting ways, end-of-school year performances, a most beautiful and emotional Kindy graduation for Clara, summer vacation in the US to get reacquainted with dear friends and family, a peak at our old life, the sale of our home in Santa Monica, returning back to Bali for the new school year, reconnecting with new friends, more family visits upon our return to Indonesia, the first small adventure of the school year (Java!)…
But even more than the succession of events, when I reflect on these past months, what really strikes me is how much has happened internally. So many unseen transformations; so intense, deep, deep inside. Bubbling feelings of fear, insecurity, surrender and uncertainty, that never allow me to feel too comfortable, too confident, too certain… and what is most important, fear, insecurity, surrender and uncertainty that I can embrace, tolerate, even appreciate! – no, I am not torturing myself 🙂 –
I am under the impression that another big shift has been unfolding. Happiness – for lack of a better word – comes from a very different place now. For the first time in my life, I find happiness through my vulnerability; my weaknesses are just as exposed as my strengths yet I do not feel the need to hide them or disguise them but rather acknowledge them, hold hands with them and just keep walking. My vulnerability comes hand-in-hand with a deep sense of calm, a powerful feeling of freedom and liberation, a certain lightness and a surprising capacity to let go.
I do not feel the urge to keep up with the expectations of being the perfect mother to perfect children, or the perfect wife, daughter, sister or friend… I do not need to measure myself by whatever aspirations or expectations I, or others, may have for me. Instead, I just live the moment through trial and error. I mess up, plainly. I take responsibility, openly. I pause. I reflect. I try again later. And regardless, all through the moment, I never cease on giving to myself, my family, my friends and others.
But despite of, or maybe thankfully because of, this resurfaced vulnerability, I feel very much alive. I can continue to grow, I can allow myself to let go. More and more I am humbled by others. My love for Jeff, my children and myself grows deeper and stronger. I love more than I ever have before and I believe that to be the root of the fulfillment that I feel, especially during those moments when I feel extremely vulnerable…
I feel deep gratitude to have the opportunity to experience this journey. Not a day goes by without thanking the Universe for this life (corny, but true!). I am regressing back to just being the Marta that I was born to be. Without costumes, without makeup, without roles. Growing but not changing in essence. Plain and simple. Human. Loving.
Thank you.
MARCH
The cousins arrive to Bali!We get to celebrate Pia’s birthday with her classmatesGood cousin quality timeI think we wore them out…And our dear friends, The Ugarteches come to Bali too!Happiness is playing marimba in the jungle with Nicoand riding through the rice fields with my dear, dear, dear friend Sole…And all together we make it to Gilli Menoand campaign to save the turtles!
APRIL
Hike up to Mount Batur with Bali friends to see the sunriseAnd a visit to the Village of the Dead, where a very special ancient tree (the only one of its kind in Bali!) takes care of the decomposing bodies intentionally placed above the groundCan you spot Clara in the Nalu hat, rapping to the crowds about the successful Kindy fundraising race and campaign they did to Save the Orangutans?Never a dull moment…Saturday fun in the rice fields!Pia’s first x-country (or rather x-jungle) 2km race!!!
MAY
Even Grammy and Grandpa make it to Bali! An amazing three weeks of grandparents love.Incredible wood carving class at the Ubud LibraryPreparations for the king of Ubud’s grandson’s cremation ceremony
JUNE
And great times with more cousins visiting from Texas. We miss you Pelz’s!And Clara graduates from Kindy with the most heart felt graduation ceremony I have ever witnessed.Proud graduate with proud siblingsLast day of school. Bali Airport. Midnight. Tired kids??? US here we come!From the beaches of Bali to the beaches of Bodega Bay, California. Some things never change…Playing in the creek again!A hike through the meadows of Bodega HeadAnd to Sonora! Reunited at last and already catching crayfish in the creek!Cheers to good friends and thank you Bonnie! (I regret that I do not have a picture of all of us to post here…)
JULY
Happiness is the Grenier and Kaltreider families together, in the wine country, sharing the most delicious feastsHappiness is enjoying life with old friends Chez Avrit!And having the best baseball coach, especially after being baseball-deprived from a year of living in the jungleHappiness is finally being old enough to go to Horseback Riding Camp with friends!Hiking in stunning Lassen Volcanic National Park on our way up to Oregon (a trip down memory lane for Jeff!)We make it to Bend! Gymnastics heaven for the Kaltreider kids 🙂My little Balinese yogi… Show the Oregonians how it is done!A visit to the Shasta caves on our way back down to Cali. Super cool!Back in Santa Monica squeezing the last few days with the UgartechesAnd Clara gets to give her dear Lily a big hug. Thank you for making it happen Nathalie!
AUGUST
And back in Bali for round 2!Our first visitor of the school year. Thank you Mrs. Molly for coming to see us. Please come back again… it was too short! And definitely see you in Oman 🙂And Green School here we come again!First day of schoolAnd the much anticipated Blessing of the Year Ceremony.Back at Friday assembly! Definitely one of my favorite events at Green School every week to bring the community together, close the week and set the foundation for what is to follow. Music, dance, announcements and a whole lot of energy from students, teachers, staff, parents and guests.Merdeka celebration. For Indonesian Independence day, High School students plan and lead a whole afternoon of games for all grades: egg toss, potato sack races, tug-a-war, bucket-and-sponge race… Old school super fun!Bali, here comes Abuelita again!This time around cousin (nephew for me!) Ot tags along. Even better!
SEPTEMBER
And Java here we come!Proud Abuelita with her grandchildrenWhen in Java, Batik!Even if it feels like a tourist trap…Surprised at the amount of cool graffiti all over Yogjakarta!Nothing like going on vacation with school friends!A visit to Prambanan temple. One of the biggest Hindu temples in the world and the biggest in Indonesia.Build in the 9th Century, destroyed by an earthquake in the 16th century and restored by the Dutch in the 1900’s.The temple is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and definitely a must see if you come to this neck of the woods.Visit to Borobudur Temple. Another stunning UNESCO World Heritage Site not to be missed. The largest Bhuddist temple in the world.Built in the 9th Century it is both a shrine to the Lord Buddha and a place for Buddhist pilgrimage.Back in Bali is Galungan and Green School’s Penjor Festival is in order. Every grade class makes a penjor and all are displayed in the big yard ready for this important time of celebration.Galungan celebrates the spirits of the deceased and our appreciation for them. Balinese villages all around fill their streets with offerings in the form of penjors throughout this 2+ week long ceremonial time.Silversmithing class at the Ubud Library. Focus.New skills.Hard work.And different personalities shining through, for sure!Mighty ocean, little peeps…Always a good place to get lost in thoughtBut… are we in the ocean or in the snow?!?The storm is coming!But regardless…here we are…together and ready for year two…
“I can easily stay here another year” Pia thinking about the future. By Marta Kaltreider.
Lately I have been feeling a lot of deep shifting in our lives. I am noticing that being patient seems a much bigger challenge, that our capacity to be present in the moment requires a lot more effort, even irritability shows up in the most unexpected ways… The end of the school year is getting closer and the pressure of having to make some difficult decisions about the future is building up and taking a toll on us.
It has been an incredible nine months of growth, self discovery and wonder but even so it is hard not to look back in time and reflect on all the good things that we put on hold back in Santa Monica. Last June we started an amazing journey and now we need to decide wether to bring it to a close or to embrace it as our path to walk towards the future and keep going. So, what do we want?
Going back to Santa Monica feels safe. We had built a great life for our family that gave us security and stability: a well-paid stable job for Jeff that was demanding and stressful but also challenging and empowering, a school system where Pia, Marcus and Clara could go back to and continue on their journey through education with their friends, expected and familiar mommy duties (and ideally an added a part-time job to start writing a new chapter for myself), a few vacations a year, good friends old and new, visits with the grandparents, yearly Christmas and Thanksgiving celebrations surrounded by family, weekends in the wine country… Going back to life as we knew it could continue to flow comfortably for many years to come. Some adjustments along the way, expected milestones achieved, some challenges here and there (nothing super major assuming that everybody stays healthy and that we all continue to nurture each other emotionally)… Pretty good!
Continuing forward on our journey is challenging but, what comes with Challenge? Over the past nine months challenge continues to bring us much growth and satisfaction emotionally, creatively and intellectually. Emotionally we are learning to live with the uncertainty of not always having control. Living with uncertainty is allowing us to develop our capacity to be more open, confident and tolerant to roll with the twists and turns of life. Creatively we have become resourceful at building a new life from scratch. A life built from the inside out, from deep in within us towards the world. Our motor is self-motivation, our incentive is our family unit, our goal is our journey day to day, moment to moment. Intellectually we are learning by doing, by trying, by falling, by standing up again, by taking turns, by succeeding, by falling again…
There are many variables that still confuse us and all our steps forward come with many unanswered questions and few rational answers…
As much as Pia, Marcus and Clara love Bali and Green School, Santa Monica resonates as home to them and trying to reconcile their two worlds is a big undertaking for their young hearts. Is it fair to them that we have turned their world upside down?
Regardless of our geographical location and looking into the future, Jeff and I are reinventing ourselves professionally. How do we support our family financially from now on in a way that we can achieve a more balanced work-life journey?
We have experienced and witnessed the enormous value and impact of learning by doing, surrounded by nature, in a wall-less school. Is it possible to go back to traditional education after a year at Green School?
We have learned to live with less possessions. The freedom of a simple life… Do we need all of those possessions back?
We know we thrive diving into new cultures and expanding our horizons. The world is a big place and we do not want to make it small. How do we sustain it?
We need to pass on our heritage to our kids but we don’t want their roots to stop them from being citizens of the world. How do we find the balance so they have a sense of belonging while also understanding the importance of learning and borrowing from other cultures?
…
The answer to most of these questions is “I don’t know”… but what I do know is that life is good, really good, especially with all the ups and downs. I know that for the last nine months we have all been growing and thriving through thick and thin. I know we fight like never before but we also love like never before. I know that we feel excited about today and we will deal with tomorrow when the sun rises again. I know that family and good friends are forever, regardless of time and space. I know that our gut tells us to continue on our journey even with all the uncertainty, even with all the unanswered questions… So, against all odds, here we go again: year two in Bali here we come!
During the Kuningan Ceremony Balinese people celebrate the victory of dharma (good) over adharma (evil). An unbelievable time to be in Bali!Guapa!!! Tita (my big sis) praying during Kuningan ceremony.And the little kids are mesmerized with the events throughout the ceremonyKuningan dancers. Sunrise from Mount Agung, the tallest volcano in Bali (3,000 m/10,000 ft). Our hiking date started at 2 am!We are on top the world!!!Learning how to plant rice courtesy of Ibu Giyan’s 80-year-old grandpa who has worked on the rice fields all his life. Yep… down and dirty! Phenomenal!Even Tita is up for it 🙂Princesses and Monsters: a drawing session with Tita in Clara’s class. And a trash walk on our street courtesy of the Kaltreiders and the ElshoutsDr. Fish! Clean my feet!T-shirt making workshop with friends, courtesy of Guru Extraordinaire Mrs. TitaAnd Jeff is getting ready for his ski trip to Japan in toasty weather and 100% humidityCeremony season in preparation for Nyepi. Nyepi is the day of silence, meditation and fasting in Bali: airport closed, no one is allowed outside, no cars, no noise, no electricity… the world stops! It is the most unbelievable experience.The day before Nyepi there are ogoh-ogoh parades everywhere. Ooh-ogohs are huge grotesque sculptures made to capture the bad spirits so the first day of the year (Nyepi) is off to a good start. Here is Marcus’ class building an ogoh-ogoh at a local village.Ogoh-ogohs are scary, grotesque and of enormous proportions yet totally cool and fascinatingEvery class at Green School built its own ogoh-ogoh from scratch.The kids proudly carried their ogoh-ogohs around the Green School neighborhood with the biggest smiles and the most heart-felt pride. Their hard work and dedication pays off!They also wrote their own chants and chanted from the top of their lungs throughout the parade around the neighborhood.A girls treat as per Pia’s request to celebrate her birthday.Happy 9th birthday, Pia! Thank you Johnsons for hosting us to celebrate in your beautiful bamboo jungle palace. Unreal!A fantastic weekend in Green Camp with our new friends the Gamble Family. So much fun!At Green Camp we learned all things Balinese: the meaning of offerings and how to make them,how to climb (very high) palm trees…“Helloooo down thereeee!!! Can you hear meeeee???”Gasp! Yes, it was that high! Jeff and Marta went up too 🙂Compost recipe: green leaves, dry leaves, fresh cow poo, water and a whole lot of mixing!Learning how to grow seedlings,traditional palm leaf weavingand a fantastic Balinese Martial Arts lesson at the mepantigan among many other fabulous activities. A dream weekend… Thank you Green Camp and thank you Gambles!
theintrepid5: the Kaltreider adventure 