“Our drive…”

“Our drive should be our passions not our expectations.”  Marta reflecting on the last few months in Bali.

I can’t believe that the first semester at Green School is finished! We moved to Bali at the beginning of August and so much has happened… so many things have changed!

When I reflect on the last few months since we first arrived in Bali I cannot help but be amazed at how much we have all grown as a family and individually. In some ways it has been surprisingly easy but at the same time we continue to face major challenges. We moved to a foreign country that we had never visited before, we have adjusted to the extreme heat and humidity of island living in the tropics, we have immersed ourselves in a new culture of unfamiliar traditions, different languages, and dissimilar values, we are building relationships with new friends from all over the world, we live surrounded by jungle and rice fields (a massive bug just planted itself by my computer as I write these words…), we have developed new culinary palettes, we have taken up yoga (and even tried meditation!), we have embraced the sounds of the gamelan and the jegog that accompany us on a daily basis, we attend blessing ceremonies dressed in traditional balinese attire, we enjoy Balinese folklore, we have managed to deal with Bali’s insane traffic, we have found a wonderful house that we can call home, we feel grateful to have our kind and reliable driver Agung and our helpful and trusting housekeeper, Ketut, in our lives, we are discovering the wonders of this incredible island, we have devoted ourselves to one another day-to-day, we have immersed ourselves in a new school, with no walls, in the middle of the jungle, with a mud pit and Balinese Warrior Wrestling lessons, we are understanding what it means to live sustainably, we are consciously trying to be present in the moment, to live with less and to find more balance.

I don’t want to look ahead, I just want to be mindful and embrace this special time in our lives but sometimes I fail and cannot help to look towards the future and wonder what is going to happen next. So here I am writing… my therapy… There are moments when I find myself pushing away the thought that half of our year off has already slipped by. I stop and remind myself to engage in the present moment so it too doesn’t slip away inconspicuously. I feel so empowered and energized by our choice of taking a year off that I want more! I feel that I can keep going to the moon and back and I am terrified about not being able to continue in this state of mind in the familiar surroundings of our previous life. I sure miss Santa Monica: our friends, our neighborhood, our weekends in the wine country, our local school… but does that mean that we will go back and pick up where we left off as if none of this had happened? Or is possible to carry all of our new new learning and growing with us and apply it to life back in Santa Monica?

Our lives have expanded tremendously and, better yet, our kids’ perception of the world has grown exponentially. A piece of their heart is now full with adopted Indonesian culture, its people and their hardships, they have long lasting memories of adventures in Thailand, Argentina and Uruguay, they have a deep appreciation for our past life in Santa Monica, they are empowered by the choices they voluntarily make because they are mindful of the impact they have, they celebrate the differences of the many heritages that surround them daily, they seem to have shifted from being scared of change to thriving on it, they have become courageous to face challenges and adaptable to the twists and turns of life, they are nourishing their tolerance towards themselves and others and they are gathering tools to become valuable and skillful citizens of the world. How can we take everything we are learning and apply it to and integrate it into our more more familiar past lives?

I am confused and conflicted. How do we carve a path in which our kids can grow roots, develop a sense of belonging to their American and Spanish nationalities and are accepting of their beliefs, while at the same time help them to expand their horizons beyond the limits of their roots, nationalities and beliefs? It is a fine line between getting lost in the big world out there while our roots are slowly dying or allowing our roots to grow so deep that we loose our capacity to open up to the big world out there. That fine line in the middle is what resinates with us, what provides us with the tools to enjoy the journey instead of stressing about the outcome, to make conscious choices and develop the ability to tackle the consequences. These tools allow us to tolerate living with uncertainty, to be humble yet confident, to not take anything for granted, to be accepting of ourselves through thick and thin, to let go of the false sense of control that often drive our lives.

Now that our first semester is over we are ready to embark in a three week journey in India. India seems like it will be another big test!  We have booked a seven day itinerary through Rajasthan and have purposely left the remaining 14 days open-ended.  During this time, we hope we can find some ashrams that will take us in and we have a purpose of doing volunteer work with local kids in schools and/or orphanages. We will be visiting the Taj Mahal on Christmas Eve, and we will endeavor to bring the true Christmas spirit of giving with us throughout our trip. Merry Christmas to you dear families in Spain and the US, friends all over the world and strangers that may be reading these words. We will be back in 2016 ready to start a new year full of love, growth and gratitude to share with all of you one moment at a time.